Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria



Monday 16th of April 2005 and the last day with de-escalation preparing for the fastening. Tomorrow it's fasting and today flaxseed only. Yesterday I only had flaxseed and some grapes.

I will upload my web page tonight at arrival to Finland. Next time coming back to Finland I will update my page and you will know how it's going with my fasting.

Now I can upload my page much cheaper. Last time in Finland our Bosun ordered a prepaid SIM card for his mobile phone. He got a DNA card and I checked the price list and it was 1,5 €/ MB to use GPRS. I pay 5,6 €/ MB with SONERA EASY.
This was the price I had hoped for when I ordered my prepaid SIM card.

Ladies and Gentlemen! May I add a word of precaution for you readers of a delicate nature. Even though I might lose visitors with parental control installed on their computers but foul language following. But I need to say that: SONERA EASY is some real bullshit. When you're calling the wankers at the customer care they just fill you with a shit load of crap. First thing I did when I got the card was to call SONERA EASY to find out the price for a call to Sweden.
- 28 cent/ minute evening time and 33 cent/ minute day time.
- Is it the same price to all phones in Sweden? I asked.
- Yes, both mobile and house phones.

I suspected that something was wrong when I had to buy refill card with 40 € after 1 week. I called Mumintrollet and it was the same answer:
- 28 cent/ minute evening time and 33 cent/ minute day time.
- Is it the same price to all phones in Sweden? I asked.
- Yes, both mobile and house phones.
- Something must be wrong! I buy refill card for 40 €/ week, I told them.
- You must call Stora (big) Mumintrollet if you want to make a complaint about your EASY refill

I decided to never buy a SONERA EASY refill card again.

But yesterday our Bosun got his refill card and we called DNA customer service:
- 27 cent/ minute to call house phone and 48 cent/ minute to call a Swedish mobile phone.
I told Bosun that my SONERA EASY was cheaper. 28 cent/ minute evening time and 33 cent/ minute day time. But I became suspicious and called SONERA EASY again.
- Depends on what prefix you dial when accessing the foreign line. If you dial 09959 it's 28 cent/ minute to call house phone and 52 cent/ minute to call a Swedish mobile phone.
- If I dial + before the country code? I asked.
- Then it's 28 cent/ minute to all Swedish phones. No no, its 28 cent to house phone and 50 cent to mobile phone, she said.
What the bipping bip!!?? (now we had it with the profanity)
When you call customer care Mumintrollet answering the phone.
- Välkåmen till iiisiii tjäänsten!
And SONERA is not the only company were they have people that don't know what they are talking about. When you call a company you need to record the conversation.

When you tell them that they told you another price last time Mumintrollet flatly denies it. Well, now I understand why I had to buy refill card for 40 € every time coming to Finland. But now I had it with SONERA EASY and iiisiii tjäänsten!

Hmm, we lost track here, but let us return to the 1,5 €/ MB using GPRS. Our Bosun did the same mistake as our Cook. His mobile did not work with the Finish SIM card and I bought his sim card. Aladdin's adventure on board M/T AstoriaThus can I upload my web page for 1,5 €/ MB now.

When I came on my night watch we had started the discharging of the crude oil. I called the Captain home on holiday. I had got an e-mail from him before going on my night watch. He had bought the iPod and he will bring it next Friday when he signs on.

I was discharging while Captain was ferret about in my fasting package. Keeping himself busy.

Bosun told me that Malmö had won against Kalmar and Helsingborg played nil to nil against Gothenburg. He could not see the table on the text TV. But he will get the updated table tomorrow morning. While alongside there is no good reception on the TV.

All the cargo pipes ashore are disturbing the TV signal. But as soon as we are leaving the jetty we will be able to see the text TV again.

I'm off to bed after uploading my latest updates. Stay tuned and more about the soccer table next time when we come back to Finland. No end to the excitements!

+++++++++++++++
Tuesday 17th of May 2005
and we had left Finland and Porvoo behind when I came on my morning watch. Well, today it's only drinking. After 2 days with only flaxseed I felt ready for fasting. I started with a cup of juice and some molko something. I don't know what it is, but a table spoon in a cup of water should be good for you.
Anyway, that's what it says on the package. It taste like s••t!

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Sweden's strongest medal hope at the next winter Olympic

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
A quick coffee break from the training

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Bosun on the bridge

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Something they call tea

Then I made some tea made out of twigs and leaves and it tasted good. For lunch it was a cup of vegetable juice and I drank tea like there were no tomorrow the whole afternoon. Before I got off my watch I made some broth and that's pretty much what I got today. Plenty water and tea to drink.

I made an appointment with the Engineer to make new holes in my belt next week. With the speed I'm keeping now losing weight I told them that it was possible (most likely) that I came by already this week to make new holes.

I went straight to bed after my watch. I felt nauseous, and I think it was because of the Glaubersalt I had today. This salt came with the Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoriafasting kit and if the Molko sh•t tasted like sh•t Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoriathis was 10 times worse. Yet another Smiley on www.aladdin.st

There were also some other “nasy” equipment in the fasting kit. I don't want to go in to any details, but I put it on Captains door so he has something to kill time with.

I stayed in bed for a few hours and now it's the second day not walking. But I'm very weak after not eating for 3 days. But I was Peek-a-booin a good mood when I came on my night watch. The hunger was gone and I was trolling around the bridge warbling and whistling.

When Captain came on the bridge for playing he told me that he thought that I felt lonely and that I was making mating calls walking around warbling and whistling in the dark.
- Where do you come up with all this crap? I asked.
Sorry for being in a good mood! Well, Captain spent the rest of the evening playing around on the bridge. And of course, we're happy for the company.

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Mischiefs and larks

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Mischiefs and larks

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Mischiefs and larks

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Mischiefs and larks

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
2nd Officer sleeping on the bridge

Yet another Smiley on www.aladdin.stGood mood or not, it was nice to go to bed after midnight. I managed to fall asleep right on. I wish I will get the time to read my computer magazine I bought when I signed on. So far I haven't read them I had just had time to dip into them.
+++++++++++++++
Wednesday 18th of May 2005
and we were anchored at Baltiysk anchorage when I came on my morning watch. I started my watch with my fasting kit and then I enjoyed the company from Captain and Chief Engineer. When they left I could read the latest news paper that we got from our Agent last time in Finland.

In DN's sport section from 16th of May I could read about the world championship in ice hockey. Before the tournament started it was gold medal and blah-blah. When they beat North Korea and Jörgen JönssonZimbabwe all the experts were convinced about the gold medal. Well, when the played against teams that could skate they lost.

The sport section was full of “this is how it goes” and stuff like that. They give their opinion on the Swedish players and the only thing they were right about was the mark and judgement Jörgen Jönssonon Jörgen Jönsson.
“ The Captain of the team (Jörgen Jönsson) is not only the king of box play, he's also the natural leader. Jörgen Jönsson never performs poorly in a game ”

“ The king of box play. The terror of the enemy and he has the experience that's necessary in crucial situations. ”


I was in a good mood after reading this and I was ready to take on Captain and his lark and mischiefs. Baltiysk Traffic called us and asked us to be underway at 16:00. But at 15:10 they called me and asked me to be underway in 30 minutes.

The last thing I did on my watch was to get the pilot onboard. When I got back to the bridge with the pilot I made some broth, my dinner.

I slept after my watch and when I woke up (hungry) at 6 o'clock I took a shower and I started a video about Troy. I went to the bridge at 7 with 2 empty diet coke cans and we were just about to arrive to Kaliningrad. Captain asked if I wanted to take the ship alongside.

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
On Kaliningradskiy Morskoy Kanal approaching Kaliningrad Port Oil Base

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
On Kaliningradskiy Morskoy Kanal approaching Kaliningrad Port Oil Base

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Alongside Kaliningrad Port Oil Base

It's good to practice when you have someone near Yet another Smiley on www.aladdin.st giving pointers. We had all fast at jetty #4 ghastlinessin Kaliningrad at 19:30.

I went down to my cabin for a few minutes and it was time for my watch again. When returning to the bridge Captain attacked me. Isn't there someone that I can report this to? This time he really crossed the line. 2nd Officer was chocked when she took the picture, and she have seen a lot of things.

I will discuss this on our ISM meeting tomorrow. Sexual harassment is no joke and I hope we can get an end to all the sexual harassments and allusions. I don't feel too well about the whole incident.

+++++++++++++++
Thursday 19th of May 2005
and I had had a night full of nightmares after Captains harassment yesterday. When I came to the bridge at 8 o'clock in the morning for my watch we had completed loading and we were waiting for the Surveyor and the papers.

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Preparing coffee

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Preparing coffee...

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
... before starting to play with his camera

Bosun borrowed my MiniDisc® player and I explained how it was working. I will get my iPod in Porvoo so I don't need my MiniDisc® anymore.
- Maybe I will use it tonight if I have the strength for my walk, I said.
My 5th day without food and I'm still a little weak, but my strength are improving.

We left Kaliningrad 11:10 on a Sunny day. If it's OK in Porvoo when coming up I will pack my fur hat and muffler and I will not use them until the autumn again.

We left the pilot at 14:00 and I was soon alone on the bridge. I sat course to North and Porvoo just before 15:00. I finished my herb tea and made some broth and at 15:30 it was time for our ISM meeting on the bridge.
- Yeah-yeah, I know. Before continuing I will put out the traditional picture of the crew.

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
The Crew

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
The Crew

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
ISM meeting on the bridge

When the pictures was taken we could held the meeting. After discussing the protocol from last meeting we discussed things that had happened since last meeting.
2nd Officer kept minute of the proceedings and I think the 3rd item in the minute was about the sexual harassments. The chairman asked if there was anything to add or discuss.
- When is a joke turning in to sexual harassment? I asked.
We discussed back and forth and our chairman came up with the idea to have “ erotic free zones ” onboard. So we will see how this turns out.

After my watch I went out on deck for my walk. Hmm, I was happy that I kept my fur hat because it was cold on deck. It's warm in the sun, but as soon as I came in the shadow and wind it became cold. I walked until 6 o'clock with no stop for dinner. It felt good to be back on the track again.

+++++++++++++++
Friday 20th of May 2005
and it's my 6th day without food. A slight headache and dizziness when I woke up. Well, a hot shower and some water and I felt good again. We were 1 hour SW of the first TSS in Gulf of Finland when I came on my morning watch.

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Sunrise
I must have forgotten my camera on the bridge as this picture was taken in the middle of the night

Today it will be a little like Christmas when our New Captain is signing on. He has bought a 60GB Santa Claus, Jultomten, tomteiPod for me, so now I will be able to put all my MP3 music on the iPod. Then the iPod is Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoriaboth a back up and a music player.

I also ordered vitamins and sandals. He had been in Gothenburg looking for sandals, but he could not find my size.

Last time I spoke with him he was on the way to Uddevalla to look for sandals. Well, we will see tonight.

Hmm, my size, my feet's are getting smaller and smaller. I ordered size 45 on my ECCO sandals and now I'm down to size 44. Well, that's how it goes when on a diet.

At 1 o'clock our 2nd Officer came on the bridge. She was on the way to monkey island for sunbathing. Captain and I was sitting talking about the good old times.
- How will you make it when Captain is going home? It will be lonely on the bridge, she said.

Well, time turned quick and it was time to go off my watch. I changed my cloths and I passed Bosuns cabin on the way to deck so I could get my MiniDisc®.

Foock! Today it was very hard to walk. My legs felt very heavy and I gave up after 50 minutes. But on the way in I checked my weight. I had lost about 12kg since 28th of April. And yes, I checked my weight on an ordinary bathroom scale. No more truck scale. So I was exhausted but in a good mood when I left deck for my cabin.

I watched the end of Troy and I wrote a few e-mails. I managed to send my e-mails but there were something wrong with my server and I could not receive any e-mails. I received the following error message: Task 'aladdin - Sending and Receiving' reported error (0x80042108) : 'Outlook is unable to connect to your incoming (POP3) e-mail server. If you continue to receive this message, contact your server administrator or Internet service provider (ISP).'

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Captain with my new sandals

Well, I will try again after my watch. I was in my cabin and I could hear that we came alongside jetty #2 in Porvoo around 19:30. At 19:40 I went to Captain's office and the first thing the new Captain asked was:
- Didn't you see the new sandals outside your cabin?
Well, I didn't and I turned around and I saw the new sandals. I tried them on right away, well, first a picture but that was no surprise.

The sandals fitted me perfect and I went to the bridge to relieve 2nd Officer. We had started the discharging at 19:40 so she was topping off the cargo tanks when I relieved her.

I had been on my watch for a few minutes when the off signing Captain came to the bridge to say good-bye. I and 2nd Officer got a hug and he was off to the waiting taxi.

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Good bye

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Good bye

We will see him in 6 to 7 weeks again. It was nice working with him and we had very fun. Well, I was soon alone on the bridge again. We had got new videos so 2nd Officer was off to the dayroom to watch movie with our new Motorman. We got a new Motorman today as well.

At arrival our 2nd Officer had found a small bird on deck that had got oil on the feathers. She had cleaned the bird and we gave food to the bird. I found a box of Danish Butter Cookies in one of the cupboards on the bridge. I crushed a cookie and gave to the bird together with some flaxseeds while 2nd Officer found a big box for the bird.

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Bird coming straight from the bath

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
They found a new home for the bird

I was alone with the bird when Captain came to the bridge with my iPod. I told you it would be like Christmas. Tomorrow I will get my vitamins and now I have everything I need on board.
Hmm, off signing Captain was a little worried that there wouldn't be anything for him to bring back to the ship next time when he signs on.
- Don't worry, we will find something for you to buy!

Yeah-yeah, I gave up smoking. We have heard it before and this is the second time Captain signed on and was smoking after giving up. This time I really thought that he had managed to stay smoke free. Last time he signed on he had a stupid excuse. He had found 2 packages in his computer bag.
But I have a few nicotine plasters left so we will try again.

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Bringing my new iPod to the bridge

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
My new iPod

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
He gave up smoking while he was home

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
He gave up smoking while he was home

+++++++++++++++
Saturday 21st of May 2005
and it's my 7th day without food. I'm feeling terrible, my tongue is like a blotting-paper when waking up and I'm dizzy. But I think that I'm not drinking enough water. So Yet another Smiley on www.aladdin.stthis morning I started to drink water like a camel. I relieved 2nd Officer and she started to take care of the bird right on. She cleaned the bird and our Bosun helped her.

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
He let the whole world know that he have given up smoking

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
He let the whole world know that he have given up smoking

Today I felt very bad and I went to bed straight after my watch. I don't know if I slept or not. But at 18:30 I went down to the galley for salad. On the way I meet Chief Engineer with computer problem, but I could not stay because I could hardly stand up and I was very dizzy. I passed Captains Office.
- I'm going down for some salad, I said to Captain.
I had him 2 steps behind all the way down to the galley. He was screaming:
- I'm going to get you on picture!

We got a new Motorman in Porvoo. When we get new crew onboard they are going a “ safety tour ” with our 2nd Officer. She's showing the new crew where we have our safety equipments and
ISM= International Safety Management Code

ISM means the International Management Code for the Safe Operation of Ships and for Pollution Prevention.

SMS= Safety Management System is a part of the ISM Code and means a structured and documented system enabling the crew and personnel to read, implement and follow the ISM code.
On all ships that I have been on the SMS isa binder where we can read the Company's safety and environmental protection policy. In the SMS you can find stuff like the:
•The Company's safety and environmental protection policy. Hmm, didn't we just mention this???

•Job descriptions for the crew.

•Safety training and drills.

The company's policy regarding:
•Alcohol and drug policy
•Hot work permit.
•Health
Yeah yeah, enough already! We got the picture! We understand that we can find everything regarding the safe management of the ship in the darn binder!
how it works. This includes lifeboats, life raft, fire fighting equipment and personal safety equipment etc etc.

The completed the tour on the bridge. 2nd Officer showed our new Motorman our SMS binder. Well, all this because a picture of 2nd Officer showing the SMS binder for the new Motorman. Well well, we're always learning something new, or at least we refreshed our knowledge.

No, I learnt something new when looking up info about ISM in different books on the bridge. I thought that the SMS meeting was called ISM meeting. But now we know the correct name for it and from now on I will call it SMS meeting. I felt a little better when I came on my night watch. Chief Engineer told me to eat a teaspoon with honey and it made me feel a little better.

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
2nd Officer showing our new Motorman the SMS binder

+++++++++++++++
Sunday 22nd of May 2005
and I felt good when I woke up. When I came on the bridge we were at Baltiysk anchorage waiting. I started my day with a cup of orange juice and a cup of the Molko sh•t. 2nd Officer asked me if I had planned to continue the fast.
- Yes, it must have been the glucose making me feel bad yesterday. The glucose must have been at zero levels, I said.
- Yeah, you looked very bad yesterday, she said.
- So I will start my day with a cup of juice to keep up the glucose. Bosun found a jar of honey for me yesterday as well, I said.

Our Cook is making chicken for us tonight, but tomorrow I will continue the fasting. I have to finish my juices and stuff before going back to my salad diet.

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Our Bosun have been on deck to collect mosquitos for the bird

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
The bird is eating mosquitoes

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Our Bosun have been on deck to collect mosquitoes for the bird

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
The bird is eating mosquitoes

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
The bird is eating mosquitoes

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Bosun going for more mosquitoes

Our Bosun was on deck getting fresh mosquitoes for our bird on the bridge. The superstructure is black/ green of mosquitoes and it is just to sweep them of the superstructure and you have a fist full. Now the bird got some of his strength back and he is flying around and it's soon time for him to fly away.


Captain and I spent the afternoon talking about taxes. I have sent an “ moving report ” and an “ Application for tax reduction for people living abroad ”. Now I hope I can pay 15% tax instead of 50% tax. Maybe I can have a cent or two in my pocket at the end of the month.

At 14:30 Baltiysk Radio called us and asked us to be under way in 1 hour. At 15:50 our Pilot came onboard and at 16:00 I was off my watch and down walking on deck.

Today it's Sunday and I'm allowed to eat meat once a week (Saturday or Sunday) according to my diet contract. Today its chicken for dinner and it will be great to eat after 7 days without food. But I will start my fast again tomorrow.

At 17:00 I went to the mess room for my dinner. Well, it was nice to be back to crack a few jokes with the crew at dinner again.
While navigating the Canal up to Kaliningrad Captain have to be on the bridge. He was so disappointed that he could not be in the mess room taking pictures when I'm eating. It doesn't make it better that he missed the opportunity to get a picture when I had to use the elephant scale in the engine room. Me on the bathroom scale is no fun.

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
The “truck” scale in the engine room

We had started loading the crude oil when I came on my night watch. It was a very nice evening. Now there is plenty mosquitoes and it's only May. We can only turn on very few lights on deck during the night, otherwise the light will attract even more mosquitoes.


Chief Engineer on the bridge study a bird book

+++++++++++++++
Monday 23rd of May 2005
and I went in to Captain’s cabin after my watch at midnight. His door was open Bobsleighfor all to see him training for the Winter Olympic. I went in for a chat, but first I went to my cabin to unload all the Post-it notes I had taken during my night watch. I need to take notes to remember everything he says.

Post-it
My computer screen full of Post-it notes

He was in his cabin playing with his new camera. When I told him that I will resume my fast Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoriatomorrow he said:
- I will get damned angry if you don't eat dinner next Saturday.

There were nothing stopping him and he continued:
- It's your birthday and you will choose dinner and we will sit down having a nice time.

- What??!!! Sorry!! I think I dozed off.zZZzZzZzZ OK, sorry, what did you say?

He will be damned angry if I don't eat next Saturday. Yes, you got it right, he will be damned angry if I don't eat next Saturday, Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoriamy 23rd birthday. I don't believe this.
- OK, sorry, what did you say? zZZzZzZzZ

Is this because he miss the company or is it that's he's bitter and sullen because he can't take any pictures of me eating. He's not happy that he missed me on the truck scale.

I tried to take some pictures of him but he managed to cover himself. And all this while I was blinded by the flash from his camera.

I returned to my cabin and I wrote a few words on my web page before going to bed.

When I came on my morning we had completed loading and we we're waiting for the surveyor and the cargo documents. While waiting for the documents to come onboard I measured the H2S content in the cargo tanks. On the way back to the bridge I got my camera. I stopped at Captains office.

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
And we have yet another medal hope for the next winter Olympic on board

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Now he is in the engine room with his camera

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Engineers fighting to get out trying to dodge the camera

He had his camera stand-by and he tried to get me on a picture. But I drew my camera quicker
Lucky LukeCaptain with his IXUS camerathan Lucky Luke and I don't think he got any picture of me. His lens was covered of my camera.

Our Chief Engineer came by with his camera and Captain's office turned in to OK Corral. It was almost like a duel, Wild West on board Astoria.

The “ erotic free ” zones have turned in to nothing less than a success Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoriaso I will suggest “ Camera free ” zones on our next ISM (sorry SMS) meeting.

It has gone a little too far when you can't go in to the mess room without being blinded by 1000 camera flashes.

We left the pilot and the passenger pilot at 13:25 in Baltiysk. It was gorgeous weather and 22-24°C. I took a picture of our ABs in their summer uniforms.

First day I had seen anyone working on deck in shorts this year. Otherwise it's just me out in shorts from April to October.
- First day I see someone working outside with shorts this year, I said to Bosun.
- No, I was working with shorts yesterday, he said.

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
On deck in shorts

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
On deck in shorts

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
On deck in shorts

Well, the rest of my watch went quick and it was soon time to go off my watch. After my watch I went down to the engine room to check the sensors for our ballast valves.

I passed Captain's Office on the way down to the engine room. and he caught sight of me. He was Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoriaall by lonesome in the office and he wanted some company.
- Hey! Aladdin where are you going?

He told me that our bet was not running on my birthday. How desperate can you get? Everything seems to be allowed just for a picture of me eating.
- Now you have to make a food request to our Cook, he said.

I went down to the galley. I agreed with our Cook to have Fläskpannkaka for lunch next Saturday. Our Cook makes the best Fläskpannkor you can get. We could not decide about the breakfast, but we have a few days until Saturday.

But make sure to come back here on aladdin.st for the menu and other exciting updates. I went
Jo du Björn, nu e d en ny kung i byssan. Man kan inte leva på gamla meriter.

Du förresten, din kontakt på Baltic Grain ringde och erbjöd ett special pris på potatis mjöl. Vi behöver, men han kunde inte ge mig det fina priset för han känner inte mig.
straight from the engine room to deck for my constitutional.

Well well, I never thought that I should live to see the day when they forced me to eat. Yeah, Captain is concerned about his pictures. When I told him that I will continue my fast this week he said:
- It's not good to fast to long. You must eat.

Our Captain at home on holiday called today. He went on an on about my fasting.
- It's not good to fast to long. You must eat.

Well, anyway, I think Captain thinks it’s boring in the mess room without anyone to play mischief's with. So yes, I had to go eat dinner today, but I was forced to it. But I only had a little salad and white cabbage.

I can't eat very much after the fasting. I plate of salad was enough to make me dizzy and this is the way I'm going TRY to keep it. It will be hard, but I will try very hard and I will have obtained my V-shaped torso in a jiffy.

After dinner I returned to my constitutional. It was sunshine but now it had started to blow a strong easterly wind. I gave up and returned to my cabin and my Windows®XP.

I will call Monday the 23rd of May 2005 the lost day in my history book. I had to reinstall Windows® and I spent the whole day with it. I had to sit up until late to finish my web page.

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Time for dinner

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Chief Engineer ready with his camera

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Chief Engineer ready with his camera

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
There is no bottom in this guy

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Playing golf after the dinner

+++++++++++++++
Tuesday 24th of May 2005
and it was almost time to change course to NE and enter Gulf of Finland
Björn, vi kanske inte behöver potatis mjölet. Det verkar till att ha blivit en jävla fart på
when I came on my morning watch. Captain came to the bridge a few minutes after I got on my morning watch. This time he really displayed his bad taste and poor judgment. Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time for me to add a word of precaution again.

I thought we had reached the limit of what's possible to display on the web. But now I will
Click at your own risk! You have been warned!
display the most grim and hideous picture ever seen so far at www.aladdin.st. This is pure ghastliness and now people of delicate nature are warned.

YOU WATCH AT YOUR OWN RISK!

It's beyond comprehension that he has the nerve to come on the bridge in a T-shirt like that. This is a T-shirt a scavenger would have rejected. A ragamuffin would have been ashamed to the extent that he wouldn't have showed himself for anyone.

SM GULD! FRÖLUNDA! My arse! Yet another Smiley on www.aladdin.st

Well, this is the kind of stuff I have to put up with. But now it can't MFF, Malmö FFget any worse. Well, anyway, I hope not, but you never know.


Yet another Smiley on www.aladdin.stWhen the chock abated, yeah, I must admit that it took quite some time. But the chock Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoriadisappeared and I could give Captain a haircut.
- I will make it 0mm, I said.
- Don't make it too short. Then you will get more to write about on your web page.
There is not much to say against argument like that. After my watch I was out on deck and I walked until 5 o'clock when I had my salad. After my salad I went to my cabin and I got connected to internet.

I received e-mail with bad news. During the years the companies I have worked for have not paid to my pension found for my terminal payment when signing off ships. Great!! It really made my day

Well, we had started the discharging when I came on my night watch. We expect to be ready to leave Porvoo around 04:00 tomorrow morning.

+++++++++++++++
Wednesday 25th of May 2005
and the first thing I did before my sleep was to upload my web page. And the first thing I heard when I answered the phone at 07:40 was:
- The sun is shining!
- Puh hvor er jeg træt!
I don't know why I was so tired this morning. I went to bed after uploading my web page, around 1 o'clock. I think I felt asleep right on. I took a shower and I relieved 2nd Officer at 8 o'clock.

Let me say that Wednesday the 25th of May 2005 will not make it to my history book as a
Björn! Du e min räddande ängel. Tack för att du rekommenderade mig at köpa aktier i Baltic Grain. Efter ett sent kvälls e-mail härom dagen så steg Baltic Grain aktien plötsligt väldigt våldsamt. Det räddade min ålderdom.

Man fyller 23 på lördag och på senaste pensions beskedet stod det saldo: 1372 kr.
Valde jag att få den utbetald mellan 65 - 70 skulle d bli cirka 30 kr/ månad.

Efter ett yrkesverksamt liv så har man fått ihop till en jätte pension.
day filled with action. The boredom was about to kill me and I was about to jump overboard when Captain saved my life in the afternoon.

We spent the afternoon talking about this and that, especially about our pensions.

It was soon time for me to go off my watch. I changed my cloths and went out on deck for my walk. But I turned around when coming out, it was very cold.

When I came on my night watch 2nd Officer wanted to borrow my iPod when she walked on deck. She took my iPod and I could watch her walking around on deck in lightning speed.

Later in the evening Captain came up on the bridge warbling and he told me:
- We can eat dinner all together on your birth day. We got e-mail from our Agent today.
He continued:
- We will not leave Kaliningrad until evening 27th or morning 28th so we will be in the middle of the ocean at dinner time 28th of May.

+++++++++++++++
Thursday 26th of May 2005
and we were anchored when I came on my morning watch. It was almost MFF, Malmö FF20°C and the sea was like a mirror. Summer today and yesterday it was early spring up north. Today the crew is working half naked on deck and yesterday they had their winter uniform with hats and stuff. I wish I could walk after my watch today, but today I can't say it's cold outside. But I will be busy with our tank radar after my watch, so no Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoriawalking today.

I'm really looking forward to coming out on deck. (If the weather is like this, will say.)

Bellona was anchored next to us and I took a few pictures of her for my ship picture web site. But they didn't turn out as good as I wanted.

After my watch I started to remove the electronic box on our SAAB radar on slop stb tank. I swapped electronic box with port slop tank and then I started the pressure sensors again. Now we will see if the pressure reading is correct in starboards slop tank or not.

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
SAAB Radar

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Wires to a SAAB Radar

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Wires to a SAAB Radar

When I was ready I returned to my cabin and a shower. I started a video before my shower, but I spent the time writing on my page while the movie was going in the back.

We should have got our pilot onboard at 03:00 tomorrow morning, but we got e-mail from our agent saying that we will go inside tomorrow afternoon instead.
Well, then we can't go ashore for shopping. We had planned to go ashore to buy CDs and I need a new mouse for my computer.

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
AB Painting on deck

+++++++++++++++
Friday 27th of May 2005
and we were still waiting at the anchorage when I came on my morning watch. I put on a kettle and while waiting for the water to boil I started my day with a cup of Molko s••t and after that I had a cup of orange juice.

I was enjoying my tea and reading about Photoshop® when Captain came up. We talked about when we were in navigation school together some 20 years ago. We had been on a party, well, we were on many parties. But today we remembered this particularly party. I don't remember very much of it. Hey! It was 20 years ago.

At 15:20 we had our anchor up and at 16:00 the pilot boarded us. I was on deck walking while passing the Kaliningradskiy Morskoy Kanal up to Kaliningrad Port Oil Base in Kaliningrad. It was about 22°C and sunshine. We could see people having picnic and making food on fires in the parks along the Canal. People were even swimming.

I was in a good mood even though the Canal was full of oil and pollution. Never mind as Oil pollution, oil spilllong as they have oil for sale. But God help you if they find a banana skin in the bin for aluminium cans in the sorting out of household waste area. Or even worse, if there should be a drop of oil from the ship.

As you can see on the picture on right hand side the Canal is full of oil and Malmö FF, MFF, Malmö, soccer, fotbollthe Canal debouch into the Baltic Sea. In Sweden there is a pretty strong environmental legislation. If a company causes an environmental pollution they have to pay a hefty fine. That's good.

But now they have moved all the manufacturing to countries with cheap labour and no environmental legislation. But the Swedish companies can still put an eco-label on their products.

Last man working on the company in Sweden are using unbleached coffee filter in the coffee machine (there is nothing to do but drinking coffee) so they are labelling themselves as a “ECO FRIENDLY ” company and can eco-label their products with the green swan, flying lamb or shi••ng duck or whatever they are labelling their products with.

Well, I got a little carried away, where were we? Oh yes, I was in a good mood because I used the scale (bathroom scale) while waiting for the pilot. I had lost 3,2 kg since last week and that make it 15 kg this month as well. I'M SOON SIGNING OFF!!!

After my constitutional I went to my cabin for a shower. I started to write a little on my web page and I finished the video I started yesterday before I took my shower. I could hear them turning off our main engine at 19:45 so I supposed that we had all fast at jetty #4 in Kaliningrad.

+++++++++++++++
Saturday 28th of May 2005
and I had an appointment with Bosun in the mess room at 07:40. Tomtegröt for breakfast. My birthday Yet another Smiley on www.aladdin.st and the diet bet was on a temporary hold and thus
Björn! Som sagt var, nu e d en ny kung i byssan. Med lite planering kan man få med det mesta på ett dygn.
Jaja, d e så vi e vana att operera.
not running today.

Tomtegröt for breakfast and Fläskpankaka for lunch. And the BONUS leftover Kålpudding from dinner yesterday that I ate after midnight. Well in to the 28th when the bet was off and we have covered most of the best stuff there are around

Bosun called me at 07:15 and I went up for a shower. I didn't know what happened yesterday but all my music disappeared from my iPod. So this morning I had to turn on my CD player before going in to the shower. When I started the CD player “ INSERT DISC ” was flashing in the display. I was tired and Yet another Smiley on www.aladdin.stI don't know what button I pushed. Well, anyway, I could not hear any music. But I managed to get the music up and running and I went in to the shower.

Yet another Smiley on www.aladdin.stWhen I was in the shower I could hear something knocking. It sounded like it was on my door and I thought:
- Someone complaining about the music?

I turned off the shower and went out in my cabin. I could hear the crew knocking on my door and they were outside my door singing

I opened the door slightly and Captains camera came in to my cabin as soon as the gap between the door and frame was wide enough. I closed the door and I got dressed. When I opened the door wide open the crew rushed in. 2nd Officer came first with my breakfast tray followed by the rest of the crew and Captain was perpetuating everything on video while singing.

2nd Officer had been ashore picking grass and she had made an Garland for me. There was also a flag on the breakfast tray together with the orange juice and the sandwich.


Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria


Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria



Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Bringing breakfast with a song

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Bringing breakfast with a song

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Of course, millions of pictures had to be taken just to pester me

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Garland

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Bringing breakfast with a song




I was soon left alone and I could finish my sandwich. I went down to the galley with the tray and my plate from yesterday. Our Cook knows that I like Kålpudding so he served Kålpudding for dinner Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoriayesterday. No bet today and I could have the leftovers when I got off my watch at midnight. Our Cook makes very good Kålpudding and I enjoyed myself in front of the video.

But this was the kind of behaviour we should get rid of. Eating in front of the TV, but it was Kålpudding and it was a onetime only thing, so no agony

I was blinded by the camera flashes when I came down in the mess room. Obviously the mess room was never made a “ camera free ” zone. Our Cook Tomtegröthad made Tomtegröt and it was so good and I ate so much I could hardly get out of the mess room. Tomtegröt, Christmas porridge and as you understand is it for Christmas. But as with the Semla, it taste as good 12 months per year.

After 2 months of diet it was good to eat a real breakfast again.

But again, I don't care very much for all the camera flashes, otherwise it was a excellent
breakfast and I was like a boa constrictor when I was ready. Now we only wait for the fläskpankaka for lunch.

After breakfast we were in the smoke room and Captain was pissin' and moanin' telling everyone that he couldn't say Sticky notesanything on the bridge without me making sticky notes and Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoriaput it on internet.

The dreaded Post-it notes. But seriously, is it strange that my computer screen is full up with sticky notes after larks like: Blowing our horn ( The crew are sunbathing on the top bridge) and run away.

So of course, all the larks and mischiefs keep me busy taking notes or I would have forgot everything when it was time to update my web page. And the way things goes around here my lap top is full of sticky notes when I'm back in the cabin after my watch.

Finally, we could leave Kaliningrad at 20 minutes after 10 o'clock. We were early today, our Surveyor were onboard just after 8 o'clock with the final density after a record breaking 2 hours.

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Bosun on poop deck when we leave Kaliningrad
PLEASE NOTE! He is making the by now internationally recognise sign for “Taking a picture”

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Bosun on poop deck when we leave Kaliningrad

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Bosun on deck when we leave Kaliningrad


Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria



Chief Engineer terrorising me at the lunch

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Chief Engineer terrorising me at the lunch

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
He is after me when I try to get a second half of a Fläskpannkaka

The mess room was still not made an “ camera free ” zone when I came down for lunch at
12 o'clock. Today it was Fläskpannkakor.

And our Cook made very good Fläskpannkakor so the dish in the mess room was soon empty. When I went out in the galley for more our Chief Engineer was after me with his camera. Terror in the mess room on board M/T Astoria. I spent the afternoon on the bridge and it was a gorgeous day.

Summer is here and our Bosun prepared our raft aft of the bridge. With this weather we can launch the raft when we want to paint the hull. Time was quite quick and it was soon time to go off my watch.

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Bosun prepare a frame for our “painting” raft

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Bosun prepare a frame for our “painting” raft

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Half of the crew were needed for lifting the raft up on the frame

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Captain and Motorman on the bridge

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Preparing the table
Picture by Captain while I was in my cabin


Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Captain and Motorman preparing the table
Picture with Captain's camera while I was in my cabin


I could not see anyone when I came down in the mess room for dinner. There was no food and no people in the mess room. Where are all the people? I could not see anyone of the crew around and they are usually in the mess room when it is time for dinner. I went to the bridge to investigate.

Yet another Smiley on www.aladdin.st

Talking about surprise. They had made a table on deck from our raft. I saw them working with the raft during the morning and they told me that they were going to paint the raft.

Captain told me that he had tried to keep me busy after my watch. They didn't want me to run around while they prepared the table.
- I showed you blueprints of the cargo system so you should be tired and go away.
- Oh yeah! That was something of the most exciting I had ever seen, I said. Yet another Smiley on www.aladdin.st
He also told me that when I had been over to the Engineers he had pretended to be in my cabin reading my web page.
- Nice web page! Captain shouted from outside my cabin.

And I rushed off to see what Captain was doing and the crew could potter about undisturbed with the preparation of our dinner. Well, finally I had to go and take a shower. I wrote a few words on my web page as well. I went down to the mess room just before 5 o'clock.

I was surprised to see the whole crew when I came on the bridge. They had made a beautiful table and our Cook had made a very nice dinner.

During dinner they showed up with gifts. I don't want to go in to any details, but the gifts were very fun. Many pictures were taken and Captain’s memory card was soon full.
- Can you upload the pictures on your computer? Then I can continue taking pictures.
Well, lucky you! This is how I got my hands on the video they took when singing for me in the morning. 2nd Officer and Bosun had spent the afternoon sunbathing on the topbridge. I saw Bosun go up on the monkey island with paper and pens.
- Are you going to play games? I asked.
But 2nd Officer and Bosun spent the time writing a speach for me. I got the speach both on paper and on video from Captains camera.


Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Discovering the table on deck

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Discovering the table on deck

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Discovering the table on deck

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Bosun

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Dinner on deck

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Chief Engineer with a drilling machine

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Chief Engineer with a drilling machine

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
BBQ

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Salad for me

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Salad for me

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Salad for me

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Salad for me

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Well, a wee bit of BBQ will do me good

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
SWL 150

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
One of our ABs and our Motorman

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Dinner on deck

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Dinner on deck

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Ready for the speech

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
And here we go

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
And here we go

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Speech



Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Chief Engineer

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Gifts


Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Bosun playing

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Bosun playing

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Enjoying a gorgeous evening

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Engineers

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Time for cake

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
I cannot eat all that

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Bosun

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria
Please, just a wee piece!


Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria

Aladdin's adventure on board M/T Astoria



I had a very good birthday thanks to the crew. This is the first birthday I have celebrated since my 18th. So it wasn't that long ago. But, anyway, maybe I should start celebrating my birthdays. So far I have just repressed all my birthdays.
Thanks to the crew for making my 23rd birthday a very nice birthday.

+++++++++++++++
Sunday 29th of May 2005
and today I'm back to juice and flaxseed. I had been on a watch for a Redhawks, MIF, Malmö ice hockeywhile when our satellite receiver started to rattle and jingle.

It was a happy birthday telex from my friend on a gas tanker in SE Asia. But I'm afraid that he got my age wrong. Well, this is the things we have to learn how to live with. And does it really matter if it's my 22nd or 23rd birthday? The important thing was the telex. We were discharging when I came on my night watch and we expected to leave 04:00 tomorrow morning.

+++++++++++++++
Monday 30th of May 2005
and we had left Porvoo behind when I came on my morning watch.

Captain asked me to take a look at our new video camera. We got a new video camera yesterday. The company wants us to take a movie from the ship. I read the manual and I don't know if it made me to any Ingmar Bergman, I don't think so, but we will give it our best try.

When I came on my night watch a gloomy and grey day had became a sunny evening with a sea like a mirror it was nice to be on watch.

Maybe we can go ashore this time. We received e-mail from our agent in Kaliningrad. Our new berthing prospects are early morning 1st of June. So maybe we will be loading in the afternoon. Then I can go ashore, I need a new mouse for my computer and some tennis shoes. More music is also welcome.

+++++++++++++++
Tuesday 31st of May 2005
and as 2nd Officer said when she called me at 8 o'clock in the morning.
- You're very tired today!
I don't know why, but I had a good night sleep and I was very tired when they called me. We were anchored at Baltiysk anchorage when I came on the bridge . The weather was gloomy and grey Malmö FF, MFF, Malmö, soccer, fotbollagain. After a few hours we got the latest news about our pilotage from our Agent.
“Pilot will board you 15:00 1 of June” Now they changed it from 03:00 to 15:00. Looks like I will save my money again. The reason for us to wait is that M/T Stenberg is lying at berth #4 waiting for cargo. So maybe we have to wait as well and then we can go ashore shopping.

We held a combined fire and oil spill drill in the afternoon. We did it in the form of Emergency generatora combined open-air walking and quiz competition. we divided the crew in 3 teams and we started with different stations.

Motorman and I were in 1 team. Some people said we were the best, but we keep our light under a bushel, we're too modest to mention it.
We started at the emergency generator. This is the generator that should start automatically if we get a black out. But we practiced to start the generator by hand.
We had to pump up an air pressure by hand and when we had about 115 Bars we could start the engine by means of stomping on a push button. The air is released in to the engine and starts the engine and generator.

On the picture above we can see the AB pumping up the air pressure with the yellow lever while Bosun and Steward are watching the pressure.

Next station for me and Motorman was the emergency fire pump. Our emergency fire pump is emergency fire pumplocated under the fo’c’s’le and we were full of self-confident, but we didn't have any exaggerated opinion of ourselves, when walking forward.

First prize was chocolate and 2nd Officer had brought a banana to the bridge just in case I won.

When we arrived to the emergency fire pump under the fo’c’s’le 1st Engineer and AB on 4-8 watch (Team #2) was running the emergency fire pump. We were a little eager to show what we knew and what we could do with the emergency fire pump.

When we were ready under the fo’c's’le we went to the foam room. Our next task was to Correcting the quizline up for filling up our pipe tunnel with foam.

When we were ready in the foam room we had to find out different stuff about the safety equipment onboard. We had to answer questions about fire fighting and oil spill. No end to the excitement.

When we were ready we returned to the bridge. 1st Engineer and AB on 4-8 watch (Team #2) was waiting for us. Bosun, AB on 12-4 watch and our Steward (Team #1) came 10 minutes later. we were pestering them a little for being slow.

Team #2 won the quiz and I don't want to be a sour loser, but Motorman and I suspectedtrofe, pris, prize, trophy fiddling and cribbing. But we're very tactful so we never said anything.
The crew split and ate the chocolate, I never got the banana.

OK, we start a new month tomorrow and you will never have to see this page again thanks to the idea of having each month on a new page. Don't worry, you will learn to appreciate that you don't have to spend time downloading all the old crap when we are changing month. Yeah-yeah, blah-blah and this month ended at the anchorage in Russia. June will start the same way


       
                  
OK, it has come to my knowledge that we have senior citizens visiting my web page. How hard can it be? So it's not very easy for them to see the blue coloured links to the next page.
Jiffy (also jiff)

noun [in SING.] informal a moment: we'll be back in a jiffy.

ORIGIN late 18th cent.: of unknown origin.

So as you understand, in a jiff pretty much depends on your internet.
So I put a “Next” button here and I hope that there isn't any problem to understand how to use that one. So just CLICK the “Next” button on your left hand side and you will be on the next page in a jiff!

Marunong ka mag-tagalog? Walang problema! Magpunta sa kabilang pahina pindutin ang “NEXT” button sa itaas

Faites vous parlez le français? Pas de problème! Pour arriver à la page suivante faites s'il vous plaît un déclic le bouton “Next” ci-dessus!

Haga usted dice el español? No hay problema! Ver la siguiente página sólo hacer clic el botón “Next” encima!

Farla parla l'italiano? Non problemi! Per vedere la prossima pagina lo scatto per favore giusto Il bottone “Next” sopra

Sprechen sie Deutsch! Kein problem! Wenn Sie die folgende Seite sehen wollen gerade klicken der Knopf “Next” oben!

คุณพูดภาษาไทยได้ไหม ไม่มีปัญหา ถ้าคุณต้องการไปหน้าถัดไป ให้กดปุ่ม “Next” ข้างบนนี้

Вы говорите по-русски? NJET PROBLEMA! Просто нажмите синюю кнопку "Next" с левой стороны и Вы моментально переместитесь на следующую страницу!

E ni Svenskar och inte förstår Engelska så ska ni skämmas. J och Björn, med det menar jag inte att alla mina stavfel ska ältas varje gång vi träffas.

Flag of Skåne / Skånska flaggan Well, the flag of Skåne, just a BONUS flag.


                                

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