August 2010

Sunday 1st of August 2010 and they called me quarter to 7.
- We're alongside in 30 minutes.
- OK, I'm coming.
Motherfunker, was I tired or what? I did not manage to fall asleep yesterday and I spent most of the night tossin' and turnin' in my bed. Well, I was convinced that the wakeup call was just a dream. I went back to bed, but just to make sure I looked out my window. Yes, we were passing Europort and I went for a hot shower.

I came on the bridge when we approached VOPAK Terminal in Rotterdam. It was a gorgeous morning and it looked like the summer was back on track again. First they told us that they were going to use a 16" cargo arm.
- Very strange, are they sure.
The pilot called the terminal and they confirmed that we were going to use a 16" arm. Well, ask them what kind of reducer we have, we only have 12" and 10" connections. Our Pilot called again and they didn't know. Well, What surprise!.

Turned out that we were going to use an 8" cargo arm and we could connect on any of the manifold 3 or 4. Never mind, I always have discharge plans ready for all options. So I have done the “Cargo Sequence Plan” for 6 and 4 pumps respectively with connection either on manifold #3 or #4. A lot of paper, but I'm ready for any discharging alternative they will throw at me. Yeah, that's how we operate onboard Ek-Star.

Well, we had all fast at jetty 1 five minutes before 8 o'clock. Our Loading Master was onboard 20 minutes before 9 o'clock.

I had my French Hip Hop on full blast when the Loading Master came in to my office.
Ek-Star - Very good music!!
We finished the paper work at 09:10 and now we had to wait for them to connect the cargo arm. Well, it's not like we're in a hurry or something, but I could use an hour in bed instead of wasting my time waiting around in Ek-Starthe CCR. I drank several buckets of tea and a few diet drinks while waiting.

The cargo arm was not connected until 10:55. 3 hours after all Ek-Starfast! Very quick.

It took almost 30 minutes before we could start discharging and we were topping off tanks one by one until 95% alarm was deactivated when our Cook brought my TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ®. What a surprise! Now it was only my tea missing, and we had only YELLOW LABEL at the tea machine.
- Do we have any more Earl Grey tea? I asked.
- We have plenty!!!
- Motherf@cker! What is the YELLOW LABEL doing here then?

Of course, the lub oil barge arrived in the middle of the lunch. Yes, I Ek-Starwas disturbed in the middle of my lunch. Who is going to Ek-Startake the pictures? Well, it has to be me with all the bunkering action outside my window.

The lub oil connection is just outside the window in the CCR so I was hiding behind the bulkhead with only my SPY CAM visible from the outside. As Captain on
Ek-River said: “The best picture is of people that don't know that they are being photographed”
Ek-StarSo true and I decided to go INVISIBLE! Yes, invisible, and maybe I will be really success full if I can manage to keep my “Best looking guy in town '10” diet on track. So far it has worked out well. I mean the eating, if I'm getting smaller.

- Hmm, I don't know. Something is wrong!
I start to suspect that it might be a 200 kg cancerous tumour in my belly. Yeah, what can it be? I'm eating tuna and onion like there is no tomorrow and I'm still looking like the “HUMAN BALLOON”
- A case for the FAT BUSTERS!

Well, discharging with a rate of around 700-750m³/h and we expect to be ready around 7 o'clock tomorrow morning. I hope it will be later and not earlier. They are changing Ek-Starshore tanks so the rate goes up and down with the back pressure. So it can differ with an hour or two.

Well, it looks like we will drop the anchor outside Rotterdam when we're ready here. But I hope we will get a new cargo soon. well, I have things to do so I can at least manage to keep myself busy for one or two days at the anchorage.

Training our new Deck Officer. Our new guy finished his manual cargo calculation, almost with flying colours. A small misunderstanding with the STANDARD VOLUME. But now he knows and we can proceed to the gas measuring instruments as soon as he had finished reading ISGOTT about gas measuring.

Yes, I use to ask them a few questions and then I decide if I want to train them. The guys we have onboard now know what they are doing, and if they don't know the answers you understand by their answers that they are on the right track. If I get 150 “Sir” and “thank you” I'm better off spending my time doing other things in my cabin.

+++++++++++++++
Monday 2nd of August 2010
and they called me quarter to 6 in the morning.
- We start stripping in 30 minutes'
- OK, I'm coming.
I spent the next 20 minutes in a very hot shower. I was dead tired after a night of tossin' and Ek-Starturnin' in bed. I went to bed a 10 o'clock yesterday after forcing my self to stay up.

Yes, I was very tired and I didn't want to go to bed too early risking to wake up at midningt. As soon as I layed down in bed at 10 I was wide awake. Ek-StarMotherf@cker!

I made a cup of Earl Grey and I was enjoying my tea while 2nd Officer stripped the last tanks. We completed discharging 10 minutes' after 7 and my I found instant use for my Ek-Starnew stapler stappling cargo documents.

Still no new voyage when we left Rotterdam 10 minutes after 9 o'clock. So we went to drop Ek-Starour anchor at anchorage 5A or B and I hope we get a new voyage today or at least tomorrow. Maybe the market gets a wee Ek-Starbit better now when the autumn is approaching and the summer holidays are over.

We dropped our anchor around 11 thirty and I was on the fo'c's'le to get a few pictures of this excitements. I stopped in Pump Man's store for a chat with Pump Ek-StarMan and 3rd Officer on my way back to my office. I told our 3rd Officer that he had to study ISGOTT when he got off his watch tonight.
- Read all about gas and gas freeing.
- OK
- Tomorrow we will test our gas detectors so you need to know everything by then.

Lunch time and I skipped my TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ®. Our Cook had made something from cod fish, deliscious. So I had a SOMETHING OUR COOK MADE FROM COD FISH & ONION SURPRISE ® with Ek-Startea for lunch. Saving the tuna for dinner. And of course, when I told our Cook that the something made from cod fish was very good he asked if I wanted more.
- MOTHERF@CKER!! OK, just a little.

When he asked the third time it was enough.
- OK, ask me one more time and I will give you a KICKEN IN THE ASSEN! Motherf@cker!!

We had decided to test our Emergency Cargo Pump Ek-Starafter lunch so the crew set up the pump after lunch while I was busy with important paper work (scratching my arse) in my Ek-Staroffice.

We runned the FRAMO power pack on 100 bars when we tested the pump. It worked good and the guys had to put back everything again. These hydraulic Ek-Starhoses for the pump are very hard to get back in place.

I was satisfied when I returned in to my office to turn of the power pack, now we don't have to run this test for another 3 months.

The weather was pretty good so I decided to go for a constitutional this very evening. I have not been walking for several day snow, well, maybe several weeks. So its about time that I get my arse back on the track.

Loa and behold, we had to calculate on a cargo, at draft 6,7 m and 8,3 m from Eastham. So I really hope that we heave up our anchor and proceed to eastham tomorrow. Or even better, Gothenburg.

+++++++++++++++
Tuesday 3rd of August 2010
and we were still anchored outside Rotterdam when I woke up. I hope Ek-Starthat we get a new voyage today. Well, at least we had nice weather.

We had received new voyage orders, loading FO in Rotterdam for Eastham in England. Eastham is the lock next to the lock taking us up the Manchester Ship Canal when we're going to Stanlow. Good, and as usual there are different MAXIMUM allowed drafts depending on the height of the tide water. So I started to calculate cargoes for drafts between 6.6 and 8,3 meters draft.

The high water increased by the day. On the 6th in the Ek-Starmorning it was 6,6m and in the evening it was 6,9m. Well, we would not be able to make it to any of these waters and the high water was 7,1 meters in the morning of the 7th.

Our Cook brought me my TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ® in my office. I was enjoying my breakfast while calculating cargoes when our Chief Engineer came in to my office asking me for paper clips.
- I don't have any!
He started to search my desk and he found a paper clip.
- Can I borrow this one?
- BORROW! When do I get it back? I asked laughing.
F@cking hell, as I said on Ek-River “As soon as I'm in a good mood people want things”

I came to think about our previous Chief Officers and they used to buy stuff to bring onboard.
- Hold on, I might have something!
I went to the stores next door and after a few minutes of searching I found a “OFFICE KIT” box from Biltema with different office stuff. Biltema and then you know it’s the previous Chief Officers that have bought it. Hell, everything in my office is from Biltema and Ek-River.
Ek-Star
Ek-Star
Ek-Star
But the festive mood was soon turning sour. Our Chief Engineer started to ask about my markerpen.
- GET THE F@CK OUT OF HERE!!!

Our guys wanted to start with the chipping after the coffee break, but as we were scheduled alongside we decided to paint instead.
- Better to finish the painting.
Otherwise we will have a lot of thing HALF READY, especially when the rain can start pouring down any day. And as we have seen, then it can continue for several days.

Ek-Star
Ek-Star
Ek-Star
I had finished my cargo plans, now I had to do a narrative loading plan as well. Yes, the better I explain the process the ( Hopefully) less the guys loading will have to ask (disturb ) me.

But first it was time for lunch, I discovered that it was beef and onion for lunch when I came to Ek-Starthe kitchen to get my tuna. I decided to skip the TUNA SURPRISE ® Ek-Starand have some beef. I had my lunch in the kitchen chatting with our Cook.
- Motherf@cker!!

Our Cook asked if I wanted more. It tasted very good so it was hard enough to restrain myself from getting a second helping. Ek-StarThere was nothing stopping him and he was dropping food on my plate while I was eating. Well, last time I was eating in the kitchen.

On top of that he had the nerve to ask if I wanted some freshly made bread when I escaped from the kitchen.
Well, there was only one answer to his stupid FRESH BREAD question.
- F@CK OFF MOTHERF@CKER!!!

I went to my cabin for some Thai studies and when I Ek-Starwas halfway through my book I dozed off but luckily enough I had my alarm set to 1 o'clock.

Well, I spent the afternoon writing the narrative part of my loading plan while I had Norwegian Hip Hop on full blast.

I was lucky enough to run in to some Norwegian rap so now I have “Lille Rapper” blasting high on my entertainment centre. Lille Rapper is the best thing happened to Hip Hop in a very long time. It's a real bull’s-eye! 10 out of 10 and this is something you run in to once a year, if you’re lucky. Last time was back in 2008.
James,
you and the Japanese girl are always with me on my desktop. Well, anyway, James, maybe you can ask her if she is in to this Sumo wrestling or whatever they call it. My diet might be a waste of time if you know what I mean.
Ek-Star
Denmark’s finest, Static & Nat Ill

Good, I haven't been listening to Hip Hop for while now. It had been Jazz hop and trip hop in my office the last few weeks. I remember last time in Rotterdam with Ek-River.
The Surveyor comes in to my office.
- Do you like Jazz??!!
- I don't know if I want to call it jazz.

Turned out that the Surveyor used to play and he had played at Parksicht by Euromast.
- It was house music and when we grew tired of house music we started with Jazz Hop.
- Yeah, back then it was house all over the place.

We had the very same Surveyor when we discharged in Ek-StarRotterdam this time. So we cranked up the music a few notches while doing the paper work.

So we finished our paperwork with good music blasting high on the Richter scale. Just the way it should be. And I have never understood people that believe that a job is done better if you're bored to death.

Well, anyway, I finished my cargo plans and now the cargo was off spec so it might be that they are cancelling this voyage. H2S content is too high, but they would run a new analyse of the cargo. Well, I hope we get this cargo. It would be nice trip to go to Eastham. And from there? Hopefully a VGO cargo to Gothenburg.

I need to check out some French music that I heard one early morning when we had a drink with my French Hip Hop man back in FUNKY TOWN.
As he told me back then: “This is the fastest rapper in France” He sent me the name of the group a few days ago so now I want to see if I can find them. But I need to get to Sweden.

Finally, a nice constitutional
And what an end of a good day, well, pretty much the whole day had been good.
- Hmm, OK, maybe not the off spec bullshit.
But otherwise it had been good day.
- Hmm, OK, there was something with the fresh bread. But I don't remember what.

Well, anyway it had been a “PRETTY” good
day and is there any better way to end it than to go for a constitutional? And I did, yes, I ended the day with a 60 minutes ++ constitutional on deck.
It was a long time since last time due to bad weather and stuff.

+++++++++++++++
Wednesday 4th of August 2010
and I could hear our engine when my alarm went off. I was not sure if they had called me before, but when I looked out my window we were in the middle of the Ek-Starport of Rotterdam. So I had a quick shower and when I received my wakeup call I was already out of the shower. Well, when I got my wakeup call I knew that they had not called me before, good.

I went to the bridge and we were approaching Shell Pernis. We had all fast at 08:35 and our Loading Master was onboard 15 minutes later.
- I think we have a problem, he said first thing.
He told me that the cargo was 84°C.
- I think you can load maximum 80°C with EPOXY coating.

So we called our company and after a while it was Ek-Stardecided that we would not load the cargo. Well, I had been looking forward to this loading, but seriously, this time I was glad. Not only was the cargo too hot but the Loading Master told me that the viscosity was 2700 centistokes at 50°C.
- 2700 centistokes??!!
- I'm not allowed to show you this, he said and showed me the cargo analyse.

The Loading Master went ashore again and all paper work had been for nothing. Well, I expected us to go as soon as the bunker barge had left us. But we stayed, I don't know if they are negotiating about the money or if they will try to cool down the cargo a bit. But as the Loading Master said:
“Cooling down 10000 MT of FO will take some time”
Ek-Star
Ek-Star
Ek-Star
Our Cook had made some special diet food for me and I had finished my lunch, just before lunch. Lucky, because the garbage barge arrived a few minutes after 12 o'clock. So I had to disturb the crew in the middle of their lunch.
- Get your arses on deck!! The garbage barge is here!!!

We got rid of all out garbage, the crew brought it to the gunwale and the guy from the barge threw Ek-Starit down to the different containers in the garbage barge.

Of course, I had my camera so I managed to get a few pictures Ek-Starof the action.

The guy driving the barge spotted me and he came out from the wheel house.

He started to scream at me:
- HEY!! TAKE A PICTURE OF ME!!

We spent the whole day waiting and at 5 o'clock we got order to shift to another jetty, most likely around 8 o'clock tonight. We will load 10.000 MT up to as much they have in their shore tanks.
Ek-Star
We were supposed to be shifting berth around 8 o'clock in the evening. But I know how it is so I went to bed after dinner, there is always a risk of that I have to be up all night. Well, I did not catch any sleep. Our Loading Master came onboard just before 7 and the Pilot was onboard at 7.
Ek-Star
So nice to finally have some action again. This morning was nice, plenty action with cargo planning and paper work with our Loading Master. But the afternoon was very slow. Hell, yeah, I almost felt a sleep in my office while waiting for any information.

We left SHELL Pernis at 1925 and we had all fast at Argos Terminal jetty 5 just across the dock at 20:00. We will load 10.000MT from two shore tanks, one with 1300 and one with 8700 MT. And they want us to mix in evenly across our tanks so we get the right mix.
Ek-Star
Paper work and cargo calculations while I was playing Baby Mammoth. Our Surveyor told me that I had an excellent taste for music. Baby Mammoth is perfect for my office. I cannot play the Norwegian “Lille Rapper”, this must be played on full blast and then we would not have been able to talk to each other in my office. So we were “Lounging and Chilling” with Baby Mammoth.

Well, we could finally start loading at 21:55 and at 11 o'clock we stopped for line displacement. 500m³ of line displacement and we had a little too big difference between ship and shore figures so we did a second line displacement on 200m³ and this was a perfect match.

+++++++++++++++
Thursday 5th of August 2010
and we were up and running with the first part, the 1300MT part of the cargo mix and I returned to my cabin at midnight thirty. We expect to be ready with the first Ek-Starpart at 02:30 and I will be in the CCR by then. So it's pretty pointless to go to bed.

Waking up quarter to 12 and I was in the Mess room in time for lunch. The first guy I ran in to was our 3rd Engineer. He joined us when we discharged in Rotterdam a few days ago. I recognised him when he came onboard.

I must have looked a wee bit puzzled when he came in to the CCR because he looked at me and said:
- We worked together on Ek-River.
- Of course, I said pretending to be on top of things.
Ek-Star- My wife said hello to you!
- What!!?? How does she know me?
- She is on you web page every day.

Well, anyway, so I took a picture for his wife and as soon as our Cook heard me in the galley he came running.
- Your lunch Motherf@cker!

I had my lunch in the CCR and by the look of it its will be a full night again. I had expected us to be ready by now. I had asked the Duty officer to call me one hour before completion. I went to bed at 4 o'clock this morning so I cancelled the 07:40 wake up call. It looks like we will be ready around 9 o'clock tonight and I slept until almost 12 o'clock, too long! HOW LONG CAN IT TAKE TO LOAD 10.000MT?
Well, I'm in no hurry anywhere.

I was in the CCR when I could hear the engine alarm. Middle of the lunch action and 3rd Engineer came running. Right there and then I decided to put a daily 3rd Engineer picture on my web page for his wife. So I ran after him to the ECR. Well, he is lucky, as the first one and the “Daily Picture” service is for free. But in the future this service will set you back with a mere 50 US

Today's daily picture of our 3rd Engineer
3rd Engineer answering an Engine alarm
3rd Engineer answering an serious engine alarm and saves the ship



Coming down in to the ECR our 3rd Engineer told me to say hello to his wife on my web page. Well, I don't know. I think that our 3rd Engineer can take care of the HELLO business so I can
James,
do you think the Japanese girl would appreciate a daily picture of me in her honour? She will never get the chance to forget me and she will wake up every day delirious with anticipation running to her computer to check out the Porky Daily® first thing.

And why not, this might turn in to the best gift ever!
- Hmm, chances are big that this will turn out to be the WORST idea ever!
Porky
Today's daily picture of Porky
Porky
Porky, the human balloon
concentrate on the picture taking.

And hell, does it look like I have the time to run around Ek-Starsaying HELLO all day long? There is plenty to do around here. Well, anyway, our 3rd Engineer is happy with the pictures.

Seems like they have started to kick a few arses ashore. So we might be ready before 8 o'clock tonight. Good, we have about 24 hours to Hamburg and we don't want to arrive in the middle of the night. So the more arses they kick ashore the earlier we can leave.

So maybe we can be out of here before midnight, and then it's the ol' problem with sleeping again. As I mentioned earlier, I had expected us to be ready with the loading before lunch and thus being chased out of bed. But now I slept until 12 o'clock and I might have to spend quite some time tossin' and turnin' in bed before falling asleep tonight.

Well, I did not find the time for my Thai books during lunch so after my dinner (Cod fish and onion) I returned to my school books in my cabin. I have 2 hours before I will have to go kick behinds in the CCR again so I might have time to update my web page as well. I know at least one girl on the Philippines that are waiting for updates and new pictures.

Well, seems like they had kicked some bs’ ashore. At 7 o'clock Duty Officer called me:
- According to shore it's 30 minutes to completion.
- That's the spirit!
Coming down to the CCR and discovered instantly that we had at least 1 hour more before we Ek-Starwere ready. Well, I went back to my cabin and at least I got a cup of tea out of my visit to the CCR.

I went down to the CCR at 8 o'clock and now they had 1 hour, more or less before they were completed. Well, I will get a job at a refinery, seems to be easy going. Everything is a guess work and no one seems to be responsible. Well, I was waiting in my office listening to some good music drinking tea.

And as a special feature here on www.aladdin.st I will provide you with the “Aladdin's office” feeling. Just click on the PLAY button and you will have the “Aladdin's office” feeling in front of your computer. If you want to boost the feeling just pour yourself a cup of tea, or a diet drink. (Or two)

            
Click on the PLAY button to get the right “Aladdin's office” feeling
  Remeber! It has to be on full blast  


Well, I was climbing to bulkheads, what the hell is this. Give and take an hour. This is the kind of answer anyone can give. Where is the proud of performing a good job? Well, I moved between Ek-Starthe smoke room (for reading magazines) and my office while waiting for them to be ready. I did not expect them to be ready any time soon. 10m³/h are not what I call hauling arse.

I was a wee bit tired, that's the only explanation I have. But I was reading a magazine from Sunny Radio and I thought that I had found the solution for my baldness.
- What the ??!! YIPPEEEE!!

- YIPPEEE AY AY MOTHERF@CKER!!
Ek-StarMy cure for baldness turned out to be nothing but some stupid doodah for playing PC games. And while writing this I remembered that I need to grease up my scalp with the “MAGIC HAIR STUFF”.
- I'll be back in a sec!

OK, I'm back again, with my scalp full of soapsuds. Yes, reminded me of the other day when I came on the bridge with soapsuds flying around me. The Pilot shat in his pants, thinking that we were under attack.
Ek-Star- Who the is this guy coming here?

We (Duty Officer and I) were sitting in the CCR wondering what the they were up to at the terminal. We were loading our 2 last tanks and it was like we had ended up in the doldrums. Nothing happened with the levels in the tanks and suddenly at 21:50 they told us that we were ready.

Paper work and we had the arm disconnected at midnight. Now let's get out of here! I went to my cabin, better to wait in my cabin, and I have time for a few words on my web page while waiting for the cargo documents.

+++++++++++++++
Friday 6th of August 2010
and I was in my cabin waiting for the cargo documents to come onboard when my phone rang.
- OK, paper onboard I'm coming!
- No, they want to start loading again.
- OK, I'm coming!

Of course, they had made a mistake ashore and they wanted us to continue the loading. 30m³ missing and Ek-Starwe resumed loading at 00:30 and after 30 minutes we had received exactly ZIP. Our Surveyor called the terminal on the radio.
- How much have you loaded?
- 3m³
- 3m³ we can see all here!
The Surveyor left and I returned to my cabin until they called me. We completed loading quarter past 1 o'clock.
- OK, we're ready
- I'm on my way.

Well, one thing is for sure, my planning for Ek-Starcofferdam inspections for tomorrow is down the drain. I had planned to do our semi annual cofferdam inspection tomorrow on the way to Hamburg. But if we keep on like this I will not be out of bed before lunch tomorrow and I will have to spend the day planning for the discharging in Hamburg.

Well, I was not the only one that had had a long day. At 1 o'clock I ran in to the whole engine department in the Ek-Starmess room. They were cooking noodles after a long day full of hard work down in the engine room. Hmm, if I should eat every time I had been working hard I would have looked like the 2-ton Superman by now.

And we're of course instantly recognising our 3rd Engineer on the picture above. Well, I was off to my cabin when we were finished with the cargo calculation 10 minutes before 2 o'clock. I might have time for a Ek-Starfew words on my web page before the cargo documents comes onboard. Our Surveyor told me that the Loading Master would be onboard in 30 minutes. Yeah, we see about that.
Yes, 30 minutes' means f@ck all around here.

At 03:30 they called me in my cabin.
- Loading Master is onboard.
Well, 30 minutes' had turned in to 90 minutes'. That's like 3 times the estimated time, OK, I got time to write 3 times as much.
Pilot was ordered for 4 o'clock and we left Rotterdam quarter past 4 o'clock in the morning and I was looking forward to go to bed. We were just letting go all of our mooring lines when a tug boat came up to us. We could not see anyone onboard and it looked like they were drifting.
- He must be crazy, our Pilot said.
- Most likely drunk, I suggested.
I don't know, but it was strange. Just coming up to a loaded tanker without a word. Just lying 5 meters from us. At first I was worried that it was the Police coming for me.
Why? Well, nothing I want to go in to in details.
Rotterdam
we left our jetty and turned left to enter the Nieuwe Waterweg. We passed a STS (Ship To Ship)
The Nieuwe Waterweg ("New Waterway")
is a ship canal in the Netherlands from het Scheur (a branch of the Rhine-Meuse-Scheldt delta) west of the town of Maassluis to the North Sea at Hook of Holland. It is the artificial mouth of the river Rhine.

The Nieuwe Waterweg, which opened in 1872 and has a length of approximately 10 km, was constructed to keep the city and port of Rotterdam accessible to seafaring vessels as the natural Meuse-Rhine branches silted up. The Waterway is a busy shipping route since it is the primary access to one of the busiest ports in the world, the Europoort of Rotterdam. At the entrance to the sea, a flood protection system called Maeslantkering has been installed (completed in 1997).
operation at Koningin Wilhelminahafen. The very same place we were loading last time I was at Parksicht by Euromast. well, just to mention it, Parksicht by Euromast was mentioned above.

Well, I was back in my cabin 20 minutes before 5 or something like that. And of course, my 07:40 wakeup call is cancelled so I will see when I get out of bed tomorrow. Or actually, it will be today.
Rotterdam

I woke up at 1230 and I had a shower before I went for my cup of tea. But before that I think we will kick off the day with the daily picture of our 3rd Engineer. I know that is wife is delirious by anticipation, so to make her happy. Hold on to something sturdy, here it comes!

Today's daily picture of our 3rd Engineer
3rd Engineer always busy
3rd Engineer busy saving the ship



Well, the whole Porky Daily® idea didn't seem to have felt on fertile Japanese soil. At least not by judging from enthusiastic e-mails about the idea. I had received exactly ZIP enthusiastic e-mails about the idea. Well, I knew it was a stupid idea.

I went to my office for some heavy duty cargo planning. Enjoying my tea and diet drinks Ek-Starwhile doing the calculations. As I was sitting there minding my own business our Chief Engineer came to disturb me. Ha had a stapler with him.
- What the
- Do you have any staples?

I knew if, if you give people a finger they Ek-Starwant the whole hand. Well, I have been in such a good mood because it seems like my diet is back on track. And when I'm in a good mood people wants stuff.

- You have to be careful with the staples!! Don't waste them like there is no tomorrow!!!
But I'm a nice guy and I could not resist his sad face so I gave him some staples. 3 staples!!! Plenty! Enough for at least for a few days.
Ek-Star - Now, don't waste them all in 1 pop!!
- Motherf@cker!!!!
- What was that??
- Nothing!

We will arrive to Elbe Pilot around 11 o'clock tonight and that means arrival in the middle of the night. 4 o'clock in the morning is not my time of the day so I was happy when we got news that our jetty was occupied. So anchoring until tomorrow morning. Very good.

So I was in a very good mood when I went on deck at 17:10 to measure the H2S in our cargo tanks. 14ppm, nothing. But I write 20ppm to be on the safe side. Well, I bought two cases of diet drinks and I returned to my cabin for a few words on my web page before leaving for my constitutional.

It was a beautiful evening, sunshine and the North Sea was like a mirror. 60 minutes constitutional
E-mail from web page / Aladdin
Message=Hi

Of course you have lots of support for the daily porky news, just everyone is not awake at 04.30 am to see the latest news from EK Star.

Here in North Wales Reading your postings before I go to work is a ritual (something I do every day) it would have been nice to see you come up to Eastham, I could wave hello.

You need to try the red and green diet (or port and starboard diet) red meat one day and green veg the next day, you will soon be the best looking guy in town again, I tried it and worked you would never guess that I am the best looking guy in my village 2010 :))))

Regarding the hair, well stats have shown that younger women now prefer older men, so why worry ??

Keep kicking ass

regards
before I went back to my web page in my cabin. I have reached my school year of 1989 in my progress of redoing and updating my web page. Instead of writing 5 hours per day I try to keep it to an hour or 2. No stress, I have time for my Thai books and constitutionals.

I wish I could give you the “CONSTITUTIONAL” feeling by putting “Lille Rapper” here for you to enjoy. But you would only be disappointed, not by the “Lille Rapper” but by your sound system. “Lille Rapper” must be enjoyed on full blast and the whole experience would be destroyed by a Scooby 750 sound system. So I think we're better off to skip that part.

+++++++++++++++
Saturday 7th of August 2010
and we were on our way up river Elbe when I woke up. Good, we will 3rd Engineer always busybe in Hamburg during the early afternoon. It was a gorgeous morning, the summer is back! And that was about time.

Laundry day and I went down to the washing room with my laundry bag. I
Björn,
tips tack till dig och ett stort tack för att du tog mig till butiken med sko och tvätt påsarna. Jag tänker på dig varje gång jag tvättar.

Men vad va d gammle Confusis sa?
Vilket tramsTo meet a ....
Hmm, eller var det “Bättre tvätten i en påse än ett tradigt massutskick i tvättmaskinen”

Tips tack till Björn!
loaded the machine and when down there I took the opportunity to visit the ECR. (Engine Control Room) On deck we call it the “Coffee Break Room”, but as we don't have the time for any breaks we dont have any “Coffee Break Room”. I told our Chief Engineer that I would start to test the emergency stops for our Ek-Starcargo pumps.

We have to prepare for the discharging by testing all equipments before we start discharging.

We're expecting to be changing to Hamburg harbour pilot at 1 o'clock. The jetty is occupied so they don't want us to arrive before that. But they called me in my cabin 10 minutes before 1.
I was in my cabin reading Thai and I had expected us to be alongside at 2 o'clock or so.
Hamburg
We had all fast a quarter before 2 o'clock and our Loading Master came onboard 1 and a half hour Ek-Starlater. We started the discharging at 15:35 with a maximum allowed backpressure of 7 Bar. Good, we managed to keep 500m³/h and no need to worry about going up in the middle of the night again.

So I was in a good mode. A full night’s sleep, hopefully, and the weather was very nice. And of course, my “Best looking guy in town '10” diet seems to finally
พี่ตุ๊ก
Fritz Von Stoppestrumpa will be green of envy when I'm returning to FUNKY TOWN handsome like a summer day.

5555555
ตุกตาหมี
be paying off. So I will come back home dashing.

Today one of the ABs told me that I looked much smaller than when I joined the ship in Stanlow back Ek-Starin May. Of course, to hear stuff like that can even make you forget even the worst hangover.

We got a small barge alongside so we could get rid of our sludge and garbage. Always nice with a clean ship. OK, after dinner. Yes, Saturday and I eat dinner in the mess room. Well, what can I say, I'm under a lot of pressure to be social.

But this was the last dinner in the mess room. I'm stimulated by the progress of the tuna and onion diet.
So no more dinners in the mess room and the guys can be as disappointed they want. My wellbeing and GOOD LOOKS are more important. WAY MORE IMPORTANT!

I was in my cabin writing on my web page when they called from the CCR. They had opened one more shore tank and the discharging rate had increased. Will we be ready in the middle of the night?

Well, that's pretty much it for today. Another day in August in the year of our Lord 2010 that we can put behind us. Soon time to sign off.
Oh, I was about to forget about my daily (free) service for a very special girl on the Philippines.

Today's daily picture of our 3rd Engineer
3rd Engineer always busy
3rd Engineer brings the document that will save the ship



+++++++++++++++
Sunday 8th of August 2010
and the Duty Officer called me at 04:30. DARN! I was tired. But I was kind of OK a hot shower and a cup of tea later. we completed discharging at 04:55 and Pilot was ordered for 7 o'clock. Will be nice to leave this place behind for some new action.

But I must say that the discharging worked well, a smooth operation. Pilot was onboard 10 minutes before 7 and we had all mooring ropes onboard 5 minutes after 7.
Ek-Star leaving Hamburg
It was a beautiful morning when we left VOPAK jetty 2 in Hamburg. I stayed on the bridge after the departure to get a few pictures for my web page. There was an Eitzen Ship coming up the Rethe, most likely bound for the Kattwykhafen.
She was assisted by 2 tugs so of course, I took a picture.
Ek-Star leaving Hamburg
On our right hand side, just before reaching the Köhlbrand Brücke, we have Neuhöfer Kanal. And this is the very place where we used to load soy oil with Margaron back in the days.

After passing the bridge I left the bridge and we were soon clear of Köhlbrand Süder Elbe and steaming West on the river Elbe leaving Hamburg behind.

Yesterday our Pilot told us that the forecast for today would be rainy, gloomy and grey. And 30 minutes after departure it was raining. Gloom and haze as long as you could see. Well, the visibility was reduced to almost nothing so it was not possible to see far up river














 
Bad luck with the time of completion. Yes, It has been every night now since we arrived to Rotterdam. But we were lucky with our valve to CT 4 Port. We had a leak yesterday and we pressure tested the cargo line after departure. All valves tight so it has most likely been an old sock or something in the valve. Loading cargoes and you never know what’s coming with the cargoes down the tanks. Maybe a working glove, a rag or pretty much anything you can imagine.

We dropped our anchor in German Bight in the afternoon and I hope that we can get a new cargo tomorrow. Well, if we stay one day at the anchorage we will have the time to inspect our cofferdams and we can put that boring job behind us.
I will ask Pumpy to remove the covers first thing tomorrow morning so we can kick some behinds in the cofferdams during the day. We might even have time to inspect the Technical FW tanks.

Today's daily picture of our 3rd Engineer
3rd Engineer always busy
In the nick of time, our 3rd Engineer finds the doodah that will save the ship



Well, a terrible morning had turned in to a gorgeous afternoon and I'm looking forward to my evening constitutional. “Lille Rapper” on full blast in my headphones.

+++++++++++++++
Monday 9th of August 2010
and we were still anchored just of Elbe Pilot station when I woke up. I woke up first time around 4 o'clock when my curtains felt down in my bed. Second time was 5 minutes before my alarm was about to go off. I was so disappointed, DARN, if I could have another hour. But no time to loll around in bed. We have plenty to do!

I started my day with, yes, tea and the good ol' TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ®. Then I made a risk assessment for the tank entry, preparing for the inspections. I prepared enclosed Space Entry Permits and I made a pre-entry calibration of our gas detectors. Everything ready for action and I had planned to kick of this event after the coffee break. The crew was busy opening the manholes during the morning when I was in my office drinking tea preparing all the IMPORTANT stuff.


Today's daily picture of our 3rd Engineer
Where does he find the energy?
The rest of the crew failed to realise the seriousness,
but our 3rd Engineer did a thorough assessment and saved the ship



Opening the manholes so we can enter the cofferdams is not as IMPORTANT as the documents. Ek-StarAnd of course, Chief Officers job is the most important in the whole world.

OK, we had to held a management meeting at 10 o'clock so the tank inspection were delayed and I did not enter Ek-Starthe first cofferdam until 10 minutes before 11.

Cofferdam FWD, about 1 meter long, covering the width of the ship all the way down to the bottom of the ship. A void space between the cargo tanks and the fo'c's'le/ bow thruster room.

So I guess I was lucky that my “Best looking guy in town '10” diet had paid off so handsomely, this is not the place to enter for human balloons.
- Hmm, maybe the 2-ton Superman would have managed.
Our hero enters the cofferdam between the chain boxes
We completed the cofferdam from the fo'c's'le and we went down under the fo'c's'le to inspect the Ek-Starchain boxes. Darn, I forgot to take pictures of the chain boxes, would have been interesting to see how our anchor chains are stowed.
- DARN!!!

When we had finished the chain boxes and the cofferdam between the chain boxes we went down to the bottom of the bow thruster room. There are 4 small Ek-Starcofferdams down there. The purpose of these cofferdams is to prevent to fill the bow thruster room if the bow thruster duct starts to leak water.

They were looking good, no sign of any serious rust. There were a few drops of oil in one of the cofferdams so our Pump Man went down with a rag.

I could have done it when I was down there. But the space is a wee bit too confined for me to move about with rags. Luckily enough I had my best guy with me and we were finished just in time for lunch. Tuna and tea again, and I wonder how long before I grow tired of this dish.
Ek-Star
Ek-Star
Ek-Star
The afternoon was spent writing tank inspection reports and drinking diet drink. The last few hours I checked our Damage Stability Plan. From 1st Of September the Port State Control will concentrate on the Damage Stability so I'm better of refreshing myself.

While in my office our 3rd Engineer came by to disturb me.
- My wife is very happy with aladdin.st!!
- Well, isn't everyone?
- Hmm, maybe not the misspelling detector MC J.
Well, I was off to my cabin after the dinner for a few words on my web page and some Thai studies before going foe my constitutional. Music was blasting high and I enjoyed my Thai studies.

            
Click on the PLAY button to get the right “Aladdin's cabin” feeling
  Remeber! It has to be on full blast  


+++++++++++++++
Tuesday 10th of August 2010
and we were still anchored when I woke up. It was a beautiful morning and I was in a good mood when I got in to the shower, and that's even though I could have used an hour or two of extra sleep.

I had my morning tea and tune while preparing today’s Enclosed Space Entry Permits and Risk Assessments. Yes, we will continue the tank inspections today. And the plan is to finish the rest of our cofferdams during today and some of our FW tanks and the Aft Peak.

So there was paper work to do, nice, time will turn quick. And of course, I had to check our gas detectors and check the tanks for gas and sufficient with oxygen before entering any of the tanks.

















 
Today there was no meeting so we were going down the tanks after the coffee break. Ek-StarSo I had plenty time to drink a diet drink before it was time. I got my bill from the slop chest the other day. Almost 100 US in the slop chest. Well, my first thought was that this is peanuts. Then I realize:
- Christ! It's only since the 25th!

Well, it can't be good for me to drink diet drink for Ek-Starhundreds of dollars per month. That's many cans and I start to suspect that it is the darn drink that causes my pain and not cancer. Or it might be a combination, but I have tried to give Ek-Starup these darn diet drink for a very long time by now.
- Maybe I can sue someone?
Yeah, why not? People are suing for the most stupid things now a day.

Well, anyway, the crew opened the manholes while I prepared the paper work and we started the inspection after the coffee break at 10 o'clock.

We have two drain tanks on deck so we started with these tanks. No need Ek-Starto enter the tanks, we just looked down the hatch and they looked very good.

We have one residual tank so we opened the hatch
Before
After
to this tank on our way down to the bottom of the pump room. While the AB removed the cover on the manhole Pump Man was inspecting the Ek-Startop of the cofferdam in the pump room.

It's a wee bit too small for me. And that's even though Ek-StarI'm on my second hole in my new belt. When I joined the ship I was in the first hole, and that was not without problem. So no one is more glad them me to say that my “Best looking guy in town '10” diet is kickin' arses!!

When we came down to the bottom of the pump room I measured the gas in our Technical FW tank on port side. Technical Fresh water is used for tank cleaning, so now you know what technical FW is. Something new to learn every day.

I climbed down the tank and I got a bad picture of our Pump Man and then I gave him my camera so he could take a few “KICK BEHIND” action pictures.
Ek-Star
And as we can see he got right on to the task. So now I have a few pictures to put of myself. Good, so you can see that it's not only talk about hard work, there is some substance behind the written words on aladdin.st, at least some time. Not often, but well, anyway.
Ek-Star
Ek-Star
Ek-Star
Ek-Star

Ek-Star
Ek-Star
Ek-Star
OK, we finished all the tanks and cofferdams in the pump room and we were off to inspect the aft Ek-Starpeak. So we had to pass through the engine room. Well, we Ek-Starcould have used the emergency exit, but we had gas detectors and stuff to carry. And if we were lucky we could have a chance to say hello to some engineer roaming around in the engine room.

I just had to look down the manhole to realise that I was a wee bit too big to get down there. So our Pump Man had to go down and I stayed outside guarding. Of course, we had not been there for too long before our Chief Engineer came by.
Ek-Star
Ek-Star
Ek-Star

Ek-Star
Ek-Star
Ek-Star

Ek-Star
Tank inspection is ready for today and now I have a cubic tone of work to do in my office. Yes, as you guessed, it’s more than risk Assessment, Entry Permits and stuff. And that's even though we Ek-Starmade 2 Risk Assessments today. One, and this is maybe the most important we have done so far, even maybe the most important that we will ever make.

“Opening manholes to tanks”, yes, it's very dangerous to open a manhole when you're in a confined space. Imagine we're open the manhole to a pressurised tank and all the gas will come out in the pump room. Ek-StarAs you understand, this is not a desirable situation to be in.

On the way back to my office, I went through the engine room in search for something to take picture off. And obviously it was my lucky day. After some searching around I found 2 guys that looked like they were NOT having a coffee break.

I was soon back in my office doing all the IMPORTANT stuff that only I know how to do. And it didn't take long before our Cook forced me to eat some TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ® washed down with a bucket of Earl Grey tea. But I'm really inspired by my success and I will keep on until it's time to go home.


Today's daily picture of our 3rd Engineer
Where does he find the energy?
3rd Engineer dashing off to save the ship



I was in my cabin after dinner when I heard them starting our main engine. Yes, we got a new voyage, Immingham to Rotterdam for order. Good, it started to get a wee bit boring at the anchorage. So I was in a very good mood when I took my evening constitutional.

+++++++++++++++
Wednesday 11th of August 2010
and nice to hear the main engine working at FULL AHEAD when I Ek-Starwoke up. No more anchoring and I expect it to be a busy day so I was in a pretty good mood when I took my
good morning shower even though
I was very tired.

I took one of my multi vitamins
in a glass of water. Yes the
vitamins that I bought back
in Gdansk when I signed off
Ek-Star back in June.

The vitamins with the
added Plusssz! And it
might be the
Plusssz that
get me in to my
my very good mood lately. Well, I don't know, but they make a big thing out of this Plusssz on the tube containing my vitamins. If I don't forget, I take a tab before going down for my morning tea and my TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ®

We are not allowed to have more than 5 ppm of H2S in our cargo ranks at arrival to Immingham so as soon as I finished my tea I went to measure our tank. I found 5 tanks with 5 ppm and we gave them a quick blast with our fans.

Ek-StarEk-Star
30 minutes in each tank and we were ready in time for lunch. Our Cook was making spinach for me. Ek-StarHe is really taking my diet seriously, well, at least after some scolding and screaming at.

We dropped our anchor outside River Humber and we will go alongside tomorrow morning or afternoon. Well, when we're finished with this voyage we can put the half of August behind us. Time really turns quick and that's thanks to the fact that we have been busy most of the Ek-Startime since I came onboard.

Well, I had my tuna and tea in my office while putting my last hand on the loading plan. I finished my tea and before returning to my web page in my cabin I put away 2 apples that I will eat at 7 o'clock when I get out on deck for my evening constitutional.


Today's daily picture of our 3rd Engineer
3rd Engineer always busy
Yes, to save the ship requires a real man



It was nice to come on deck for my evening constitutional. A windy day had turned in to a beautiful evening. I was back in my cabin around 8 thirty and I had a shower and a few words on my web page before it's time for my sleep. Hopefully I will be able to fall asleep so I'm thoroughly rested and prepared for all the action alongside in Immingham tomorrow.

+++++++++++++++
Thursday 12th of August 2010
and we were still at anchor when I woke up. Latest news is that we will get the pilot after lunch and then it's maybe 2 hours up River Humber to the APT Terminal in Immingham. We will only load about 7950 tonnes so I hope that we will be ready before midnight.

But nothing is for sure, we're already delayed waiting for a ship occupying our jetty. But we will manage to keep our selves busy onboard.

The crew started the day by taking out all the mooring ropes for inspection. I checked all the markings on the ropes. Condition of the ropes were good, the only problem was the marking.

Several marking was missing and the other numbers were not according to the certificates.
Well, unless I had read the numbers all wrong.
But making new markings will be a nice job for my best guy during a rainy day.
Ek-Star


Ek-Star
But the important thing is the state of the ropes and they were OK. When we finished checking the Ek-Starropes on the fo'c's'le we went to the poop deck the check the last ropes.

These ropes were in a good condition as well. Head and stern lines had not been turned so they will last for years to come. And of course, when the engine department heard the commotion on the poop deck they took the opportunity to get out for a chat with the “ass kickers”

I returned to my office, busy listening to music, drinking tea and writing reports while the crew was busy winding back the mooring ropes on the winch drums. I also found the time to make a list of new markings for the crew to make during the next rainy day.
Ek-Star
Lunch time, I usually eat in my office, but sometimes I also eat my lunch standing in the kitchen Ek-Starchatting with our Cook.

- Hmm, eating in the kitchen.
This can be the next thing to catch on. Now our Chief Engineer is Ek-Starjoining me and we might find that all the crew is eating in the kitchen in a few days time.

And of course, as you can see on the picture, my plate is just a fraction of the size of a normal plate. The plate with tenderloin and onion that you can see on the left hand picture.

And yes, today I skipped the TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ®. I had one for breakfast so it was nice with a change. I could hear them starting our engine when I was in my cabin reading Thai after lunch. Good, time to kick behinds again.


Well, I have to consider splitting the month of August in to 2 pieces. I can sense that the internet at Ratchadapisek is down on the knees begging for mercy. And I don't know about the girl on the Philippines waiting for her daily picture.
Maybe she is sitting around waiting for the download to complete with a Scooby X25 connection. But what do I know? Maybe it’s worth waiting for the pictures.


Today's daily picture of our 3rd Engineer
3rd Engineer
No, no one ever said that it would be an easy task to save the ship



Well, we see, but don't be surprised if you find the month of August in the year of our Lord 2010 split up in 2 parts in a day or two from today.

Our berth is occupied by Bro Alma and we had to slow down on our way up the River Humber. She is further delayed and I hope they get their act together so we can get alongside and start loading before the middle of the night.

A beautiful morning had turned in to a gloomy and grey afternoon and when I came on deck to check our valves it started to rain. And of course, when I was ready on deck and went inside for a quick cuppa the sun started to shine again.
- MOTHERF@CKER!!!

We had all fast at 16:45 ship's time, 15:45 British time and we had all paper work ready 2 hours later and it was just to sit down waiting for them to get ready to start loading.

+++++++++++++++
Friday 13th of August 2010
and they called me at 02:30. Motherf@cker! I had just gone to bed 2 hours earlier and now they call me again.

- We're ready in 15 minutes.
- OK
A hot shower did little to alleviate my tiredness. But asses had to be kicked so I could not stay in Ek-Starbed. I had a big cup of tea first thing when I got down to my office. Helped a little and when the Surveyor left at 4 o'clock I finished some paper work and I went back to my cabin to wait for the cargo documents. According to the Terminal they would come onboard around 5. Well, we see about that.

I managed to sleep for, maybe at best 2 hours before the Pilot came onboard 5 minutes before 9 o'clock. And we left Ek-Starjetty 2 in Immingham 25 minutes after 9 o'clock and I was in bed at 10. By now I had been breaking the Rest hour Regulation several times and I needed some sleep.

I was out of bed at 12:30 and I went to my office for some tea. Our Pump Man had repaired some pipes using our Ek-Starlast STOP IT! Luckily enough our engine department had one last box and our Chief Engineer gave it to our Pump Man. Of course, I took a picture of the event.
- Now you have to thank the Chief Engineer, I told him.
- And you have to call him Uncle from now on!

I spent the afternoon preparing for discharging while our Ek-StarPump Man was working in the pump room and one of our AB made new markings for our mooring ropes in stainless steel. Can't wait to get them on our ropes.

But we need to find the times, maybe next week. We will most likely drop our anchor after discharging and then we will attend two of our ballast lines.
No chance to sit down relax, at least for our crew. Chief Officer can always sneak get away for some “IMPORTANT PAPERWORK”



Today's daily picture of our 3rd Engineer
3rd Engineer answering an Engine alarm
He is busy saving the ship even though he don't know that we're watching him



We will be at Rotterdam Pilot around 23:30 and they expect us to come alongside at arrival. So I went to bed after dinner preparing myself for yet another full night.

+++++++++++++++
Saturday 14th of August 2010
and they called me at 01:30 in the morning. 20 minutes to VOPAK's jetty. I had a quick shower and I went on the bridge. DARN! I forgot to bring a diet drink. But I was more than thoroughly rested. I felt asleep around 6 thirty yesterday evening so I was ready to kick behinds.

We had all fast 10 minutes after 2 o'clock and the paper work was finished 20 minutes before 4 o'clock and we started to discharge an hour later. I was back in my cabin at 5 thirty trying to get some sleep. We expect to be ready around 12 or 1 o'clock so I will soon be up again.


Today's daily picture of our 3rd Engineer
Saturday Special TOMBOLA. And the winner is......
Ek-Star
YOU! YES YOU ARE THE LUCKY ONE !!
AND I THROW IN 3 PICTURES TO MAKE THIS VERY SATURDAY SPECIAL FOR JUST YOU!!!! Aladdin's treat!
3rd Engineer
Saving the ship 24 Seven and you need plenty carbohydrates

3rd Engineer
Saving the ship 24 Seven and you need plenty carbohydrates

3rd Engineer
Saving the ship 24 Seven and you need plenty carbohydrates



We completed discharging at 12:35 and we had to wait for our pilot until 15:30. Well, our Ek-Starpaper work with the agent was ready at 15 hundred so that gave me a few minutes to relax with my web page in my cabin.

We dropped anchor outside Rotterdam around 17:30, 10 minutes Ek-Starafter I and our Pump Man had got the first pipe out of our pump room. We got started with the pipe right after departure.

I was pulling this pipe from tank bottom up on the tank deck. It was a heavy pipe so I was glad when our OS came by.

Every time I'm passing the mess room he is always flexing his muscles asking if I want to do some arm wrestling. And not only that, he is always walking around with one of those springs that are used for some body building. The black spring so it's the man’s spring he is using. So I was glad when he came in to the pump room thinking that we were going to kick arse.

Well, he pulled and pulled. He was red like a tomato and I was afraid that he was going to die on me. But the pipe did not move one single mm.
- OK, maybe time for you to go drink your milk, I suggested.

This page is blown out of all proportion so we split the month of August 2010 in to 2. So just give it a click and you will be on PART 2 in a jiff.


       
                  
OK, it has come to my knowledge that we have senior citizens visiting my web page. How hard can it be? So it’s not very easy for them to see the blue coloured links to the next page. So
Jiffy (also jiff)

noun [in SING.] informal a moment: we'll be back in a jiffy.

ORIGIN late 18th cent.: of unknown origin.

So as you understand, in a jiff pretty much depends on your internet.
I put a “Next” button here and I hope that there isn't any problem to understand how to use that one.
So just CLICK the “Next” button on your left hand side and you will be on the next page in a jiff!

Marunong ka mag-tagalog? Walang problema! Magpunta sa kabilang pahina pindutin ang “NEXT” button sa itaas

Faites vous parlez le français? Pas de problème! Pour arriver à la page suivante faites s'il vous plaît un déclic le bouton “Next” ci-dessus!

Haga usted dice el español? No hay problema! Ver la siguiente página sólo hacer clic el botón “Next” encima!

Farla parla l'italiano? Non problemi! Per vedere la prossima pagina lo scatto per favore giusto Il bottone “Next” sopra

Sprechen sie Deutsch! Kein problem! Wenn Sie die folgende Seite sehen wollen gerade klicken der Knopf “Next” oben!

คุณพูดภาษาไทยได้ไหม ไม่มีปัญหา ถ้าคุณต้องการไปหน้าถัดไป ให้กดปุ่ม “Next” ข้างบนนี้

Вы говорите по-русски? NJET PROBLEMA! Просто нажмите синюю кнопку "Next" с левой стороны и Вы моментально переместитесь на следующую страницу!

E ni Svenskar och inte förstår Engelska så ska ni skämmas. J och Björn, med det menar jag inte att alla mina stavfel ska ältas varje gång vi träffas.

Flag of Skåne / Skånska flaggan Well, the flag of Skåne, just a BONUS flag.



                         

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